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Post by Jeremy on Apr 1, 2019 4:18:22 GMT -8
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Post by Zarnium on Apr 1, 2019 5:41:45 GMT -8
My only knowledge of Fifty Shades of Grey comes from people making fun of it on podcasts, where I learned that apparently, the female lead tells the male lead that she's a virgin, and he picks her up and starts carrying her away and says he's "rectifying the situation."
That may have gotten exaggerated in translation, but if it's even partly true, uh, what?
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Post by Jeremy on Apr 1, 2019 16:22:04 GMT -8
All you need to know about Fifty Shades of Grey is that the book it's based on contains the following sentence:
"Finally, my medulla oblongata recalls its purpose, I breathe."
If that's not pure Tolstoy-level writing, I don't know what is.
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Post by ThirdMan on Apr 1, 2019 18:47:38 GMT -8
Yeah, it's entirely plausible that Jeremy would watch a series of films that so prominently features The Sex. April Fools, indeed.
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Post by Jeremy on Apr 1, 2019 19:01:56 GMT -8
Yes, shocking as it may sound, I've never seen any of the Fifty Shades movies. Also, the only reason I know about the "medulla oblongata" line is from a review of the book. (But it's still an awesome line.)
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Post by Jeremy on May 22, 2019 17:10:31 GMT -8
Your wish has been granted! I've written a review of the original Aladdin!(You were all wishing that, correct?) |
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Post by Jeremy on May 31, 2019 14:08:34 GMT -8
Drop your PalmPilot and look up from Napster! I've got a write-up about the new book "Best Movie Year Ever," which reflects on the memorable films of 1999. Warning: Nostalgia ahead. |
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Post by Jeremy on Jun 19, 2019 18:51:28 GMT -8
It took two years, but I finally reviewed another Toy Story movie! My thoughts on Toy Story 3, a delightful ending to the (for the moment) trilogy. |
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Post by Jeremy on Jun 28, 2019 15:16:40 GMT -8
Despite my busy schedule, can i find the time to write nearly 2,000 words about Toy Story 4? YES I CANADA! |
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Post by Jeremy on Aug 13, 2019 15:40:20 GMT -8
I'm back! With another piece about Disney... though not quite as fawning as usual. My thoughts on the studio's myriad live-action remakes. |
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Post by Jeremy on Sept 13, 2019 10:46:31 GMT -8
Been a while since I've poked the Internet bear. So... here's a definitive list of the 10 Best Batman Films Ever!
(Oh dear, I can already hear it roaring.) |
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Post by otherscott on Sept 13, 2019 11:23:33 GMT -8
This might be the time I finally accuse you of being unpredictable just for the sake of it.
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Post by Jeremy on Sept 13, 2019 12:10:18 GMT -8
Not for the sake of it necessarily - more like for the sake of getting angry comments and driving up clicks, thus increasing the traffic to this site and in turn the likelihood of my comfortable old-age retirement.
But yes, I will probably wake up tomorrow morning regretful that I didn't flip around the Top 2.
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Post by ThirdMan on Sept 13, 2019 18:00:12 GMT -8
If the main plot of Return of the Joker didn't hinge (to the best of my recollection) on some silly microchip nonsense, I'd probably rank it Top 5 as well. As it stands, maaaaaybe Top 10.
And I like Rises better than Begins (too much shaky cam and impersonal, gadget-related table-setting) and Batman '89 (essentially one-third of the movie is Basinger, who mostly just screams). Sure, it's got plot contrivances, but so does TDK and every other Batman film in existence, and I think Bane's a riot (and Hathaway's a fine Selina as well), and it's a very handsome-looking picture (no shaky cam, yay! Did I mention that I hate shaky cam?) There's a reason it actually got better reviews overall (a 78 on Metacritic) than any live-action Batman film outside of TDK: plenty of thematic and visual ambition and a big ol' heart. Anyways, this is an old discussion, and that's all I'm gonna say on the matter.
Maybe I'll say something about Joker (2019) in a few weeks, but I'm already growing weary of the conversation around that film. I just want to see it, and put other opinions floating around in my head to bed. I'm sure it isn't perfect, but I highly doubt it's an incel-recruiting video. And when I see a review saying it's a "well-made" movie, that ends with it being given 2-Stars-out-of-4, all I can say is "Reviewer, get your head outta your ass!" Heh. They're clearly just scrutinizing the thing to death because 1) it won the Golden Lion for Best Picture at the Venice Film Festival instead of some smaller art film, and 2) they don't want to incur the wrath of (gasp!) Woke Twitter, 'cuz it's about a troubled white guy.
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Post by Jeremy on Sept 14, 2019 17:30:17 GMT -8
Honestly, I'm just tuning out the Joker reactions at this point. Most of the people attacking it (whether for being a silly comic-book movie, or for trying to dethrone the Ledger version, or for focusing on a troubled white guy) have obviously not seen the film, and thus their supposed "criticisms" don't hold any water. Somewhere between Ghostbusters and Last Jedi, I realized that prioritizing random Internet users' opinions about movies I want to see doesn't inform my own opinion in any meaningful way. Let 'em jaw all they want into the ether.
On Return of the Joker, I hear your point, but the way the microchip factors into the story (tiptoeing around spoilers here) is pretty brilliant, and it lends the film some great emotional gravitas. Love it.
But...... after some soul-searching over the Sabbath, I decided that I had made the wrong call, and I've now reversed the Top 2. Sometimes (but only sometimes!), honesty matters more than clickbait.
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